Holy Mother of Roddenberry, I can go outside today without my fingers instantly freezing into blocks of ice! Am I still in Minnesota? Or has the cold finally just deadened my nerves to the point where I can feel no pain?

In addition to this crazy tropical heat wave of 33 degrees Fahrenheit, the month of February is bringing in two open-call cabarets. Call me cheesy (remembering, of course, that you do so at your own peril), but I really think the open-calls exemplify theater at its very best, the adventure and the unpredictability and the thrill of the unknown all compressed down into two hours of sheer awesomosity.

Whoa. I could take that previous paragraph, put in between two slices of bread, and call it a ham and cheese sandwich.

It’s still true.

Anway, the first open-call cabaret of the month will be on the 7th and 8th from 8 to 10 PM. If you are within hearing range of me at this point, you should probably cover your ears to shield the tympanic membrane from a volume of squee I normally reserve for a particularly fluffy Bobby/Alex Criminal Intent fanfic, because the line-up sounds amazing. Kats D. Fukasawa will be presenting “Secret Affair of a Cherry Tree,” Joan Calof will honor immigrants and the impact they have had on our country in “Roots,” Irita Foucault will perform a song and dance extravaganza, there’ll be a dance choreographed by Denise Armstead, and the Halau Hula O Ka Hoku Akua hula school will present “Ke Alaula,” or “The Awakening.” 

Also, don’t forget that Patrick’s has a short guest-spot on KFAI Fresh Fruit (90.3 Minneapolis, 106.7 St. Paul) the second Thursday of every month now. I may not be able to make it this time (do try to stifle your sobs at the thought of being without my nervous stammerings) but I’ll do my best to make sure we get a guest or two to bring you exciting new info.

For more information on the artists and their acts, visit www.patrickscabaret.org and take a look at the calendar.